I had to catch my breath. I was reacting to things rather than taking focused actions. I needed to find a way to ground myself. Finding my center would allow choices and responses to come from a deeper place. From a space where the Spirit resides within.
I became aware that Riely could read me like a book. So, when I was able to truly be a peace, she sensed things would be all right…that she would be all right. Without words, she was reassured. My husband is the best at this…for me it is work.
My usual time of quiet and moving into my day was not enough anymore.
I had to find a way to live daily from a place of peace and assurance. Not assurance that everything would be hunky dory. Rather that God is present always, as near as the breath within me. I began to steal moments throughout the day, helping me re-center myself.
Easier said than done!
I found Biblical scripture helpful. Especially Psalm 139. I think I read this daily for a year. Different verses spoke to me based on where I was that day!
The book “No Mud, No Lotus: The Art of Transforming Suffering”by Thich Nhat Hanh was very helpful. Suffering is a part of life. Running from or trying to ignore suffering does not make it go away. In my own experience it seems enhanced when I try to flee from pain. Meeting it head on, being present to my hurt offers the chance to transform it and truly live a life of deep joy. (Not the Christmas commercial kind of joy)
I began carrying a little strand of beads in my pocket. Touching them served as a reminder of my belief in and the presence of the greater Spirit. I am not alone! I have a Source to draw from. The beads also reminded me of my peeps! I have friends that I can call on!
I took time to be aware of my breathing. Simple thing about attention to breathing…when focusing on inhaling and exhaling thoughts get quieter! Inhale counting to four, hold for four, exhale slowly.
All these small practices began to add up. It became easier to shift from my anxiety or recurring thoughts. Not all the time, old patterns take time to change! But the more I practice, the more natural it becomes turn to these tools! The more I act in a thoughtful way rather than a reactive way. (Key word is less…still working on this)
What helps you move from a place of anxiety and chaos to a more peaceful and centered self? What tricks or practices have you found most beneficial?